Two Write Hands (and two left feet)

Cue the post-baccalaureate depression.

When I was standing in line at the Convention Center, before the processional, I listened to a couple of graduates chatting. "What are you going to do next?" said one English major to the other while trying to get the tangles out of his tassel.

"Oh, well, my parents are having some family over. There'll be lots of food and cake and alcohol."

"No," the first graduated explained himself, "I mean, like, the big picture." He drew a virtual rectangle with his index fingers.

"Oh", she laughed. "That? I have no idea."

***

The graduation cake is gone, except for a few depressing crumbs and some icing that clung to the cardboard. While I wait for final decisions about law school and contemplate Rodger's massive student loans, I browse employment classifieds and think to myself, "Hmm. Maybe a second baccalaureate degree?"

Two Write Hands is officially degreed.

That's it. My last grade screen shot. For the record, my geology professor will be changing that A- to an A, which will make my cumulative GPA slightly higher. (But if we've learned anything about getting transcripts changed, it's that it requires an act of God, right? I decided to go ahead and post the screen shot instead of wait on the change.)

Commencement was Sunday. It was crowded and crazy and so we have quite a bit of irrelevant video footage. Oh well. Also all of my photos are blurry. And I'm overwhelmingly disappointed with them. Here's hoping the professionals send me a decent proof in the next couple of weeks.

I do have some pictures of the bling I collected in this past semester to share with you. I didn't know it until a couple of nights before graduation, but I graduated "with highest distinction" (or summa cum laude, if you prefer the Latin--I think it means "holy sh--" no wait, that can't be right).

I better quit before I get all sentimental. Thanks, guys, for cheering me on these past three years.

 

Freelancer for Hire

While I'm learning how to be content waiting, I am getting super excited about graduation. In a matter of days I will be posting the last of my undergraduate grade snapshots.

Excuse me if my eyes get a little misty, but it was a long road getting here. Rodger put it like this last night, "Do you realize that you could've finished a PhD by now?" It's true. My ten-year high school reunion is next month.

Tomorrow I'll get my cap and gown and honor cords (for graduating in the top 10%!). I also have my plaque and medallion for completing the honors notation. These things--and Sunday's chocolate graduation cake--will go a long way to distract me from the misery of waiting.

Many of you have asked what my plans are, because you know it isn't like me to be idle for very long. I'm working on an online portfolio and revving up my resume so I can increase my freelancing workload substantially. Rodger's $500 student loan payments are hitting us a year earlier than expected. (I'm not Catholic, but after typing that it seems appropriate to make the sign of the cross.)

Re: My Application to University of Illinois

Rodger's Q&A

...a guest post from Rodger, the husband of Emily, author of Two Write Hands.

Rodger, what do you think about lawyers in general. And are you concerned that Emily wants to be one?
I have mixed feelings about lawyers. Some of my college friends have chosen the profession, and I still consider them friends. However, I typically consider lawyers to be more analytical than I like, and more stiff-shirted than makes me comfortable. And sometimes, if I think about it, I can be intimidated by the power they possess.  I think the stiff-shirtedness is just a product of the profession of lawyering (you know the office, the formal nature of courts, the prim and proper, almost refined, sometimes cloned behavior of a lawyer). As a fairly relaxed, casual and informal kind of guy, sometimes I can be irreverent, and I typically balk at bureaucracy – I fear that Emily will become one of those who creates that loathsome thing we call order. Of course that is my perception, and I’m always open to changing it.

As a public relations professional, there’s a general sense of shared animosity between lawyers and PR folk in the workplace. An inkling of that animosity came out in a recent discussion between Emily and me. When I told her I was answering these questions, I said that I wouldn’t say anything to embarrass her – she replied, “Not an issue. If I don’t like what you write, it just won’t get posted.” And that’s the rub. While I’m all about creating, and potentially giving you an enjoyable piece to read, she’s worried about offending you … that’s the battle I would wage every day with corporate lawyers if I worked in a communication office for a large firm. [Hey, guys, it’s Emily. I feel the need to interject here. Don't take this the wrong way, but I’m not all that concerned about offending you. I am concerned about maintaining my image—something my PR professional husband should understand.] Notice, however, the directness in the tone of her quote. There is no mistaking her message and the power she has over 2writehands. She’ll make a good protector, but I’ll probably always be that thorn in her ass – that’s what every good lawyer needs though.

Whether I’m concerned about Emily lawyering her life away is an interesting question. Sure I’m concerned. I’d like to see her happy, and if lawyering does that, great.

If you could change one thing about Emily, what would it be?
I’d give her half the energy that I have--to get her through her day.

Let's say that you told Emily that you needed to leave the house at 5:45pm to make it to your 6pm dinner reservation. Then, at 5:42pm, she was still putting on her makeup and doing her hair. At 5:50 she was still doing the same. Now you are going to be late. What's the best way to encourage her to get the heck out of the bathroom and in the car without making her violently angry?
I’ve never had that problem with Emily. She hates to be late. But I’ve been in that situation a time or two. I learned to live by two different times. The time she would think an event would be happening, and the ACTUAL time it occurred. Of course that’s the public relations side of me coming out. Sometimes people only need to know certain information, whether that information is true or not depends on the person and the situation.

What piece of information were you shocked to learn about Emily after you two married?
Again, see the lawyer question for why I’m spinning this question a different way. I didn’t find any surprises after I married Emily. But she found out some of my dirty little secrets. Sometimes, at night, I war-hoop. [Hey guys, it’s Emily again. No, that’s not a real word. It’s was made up by the Johnsons to describe something akin to night terrors.] That’s a trait passed down in my family. We make a blood-curdling yell in our sleep. Generally I wake up from it and laugh hysterically – which is an involuntary response. The first time I did this, Emily had no idea how to handle the situation. If I remember rightly, she asked if that was common. I assured her it was, apologized and rolled over to fall asleep again.

What would she say your most annoying habit is?
Emily probably dislikes me laying my coffee spoon on the counter. Typically I forget it’s there and leave it for her to find a few hours later, stuck to the counter. I’ve also gotten into the habit of snoring. I think my snoring is the result of a combination of two factors – gaining some weight and my slagging fitness. I’m frequently asked to sleep in the guest bedroom.

What are your secrets to a good marriage?
I don’t have any secrets to a good marriage. This should come as no surprise, but being a good roommate, cognizant of the other’s lifestyle and living habits, goes a long way to making peace. Good communication skills are important – they go far in conflict resolution and problem-solving.

Is there any specific piece of clothing of yours that Emily has commandeered as her own?
No, she pretty much sticks with her own clothes.

What are the five worst things about lawyers and how will Emily fight the evil forces that try to turn her into those five things?
I can’t really answer this question with much confidence because I don’t know any lawyers that get under my skin.